I know
by fuyutu
Summary: naruto always knew, he just never let anyone else know. sasunaru not sure of the ratings.posted Epilogue
1. Default Chapter

Hi, i fixed the spacing, but haven't been able to put up the next chapter yet. promise i'll have it up soon.  
Disclaimer: naruto is not mine.

**I Know**

It wasn't supposed to happen like this. He was supposed to come back, have me be pissed at him and kick his ass. Then I was supposed to live a happy, fairly normal life with some girl and all my friends. That's what I'm supposed to say, right? That's what you want to hear, right? Well I'm sorry to say but I can't do that. I knew it was going to end like this. I knew he was never going to come back, but I lied and kept the facade on. I knew for the longest time, even before I promised Sakura-chan that I would bring him back. I just couldn't tell her-I couldn't dash away her hope . . . at least not then. When I told Ero-sennin that I would do anything to bring him back, even without that pervert's help, that I would rather be the fool, I knew he wasn't going to come back. Oh how I wanted to be the fool though. I would have done anything to be the fool that everyone took me for, but I couldn't. I knew this ending was inevitable ever since we fought on the rooftop of the hospital. Yet, I still played the fool, after all that's what was expected of me. If I could have faith in Sasuke then surely the whole village could too. Ironic really how it takes the despised outcast to keep the hope alive for the loved prodigy. I knew it when Shikamaru took us on that mission to bring him back. That was a meaningless thing to do, but I let us go. I could've stayed, if I did I know that Shikamaru might have stayed, because he knew. He knew that without me there definitely wouldn't have been any hope of bringing him home. I still believe that he knew somewhere deep in that lazy brain of his that I left with them half-heartedly. He may have even suspected the truth. Shikamaru, after all, does look past the facades and shadows into the truth, he just doesn't always acknowledge it. He fought with his all that day, and so was I when I saw him, but did he know that I meant to miss that last blow? That I meant to hit the Konoha forehead protector instead of him? No, I don't think he knew. But I'm sure he heard what I said to him before I passed out. The last thing I said to him as he fell atop of me. My last words to him resonating in his mind for the next eighteen months, "Sasuke, I love you."

It was eighteen months before I saw him again. Eighteen months of rigorous training with Ero-sennin. I was walking through the woods one day and lo and behold who should I run into in the middle of nowhere? Of course Sasuke. He was shocked when he saw me in that forest, though I can't say too much about him seeing as how I was in the same predicament. We stood in a frozen daze as our eyes locked. Suddenly Sasuke rushed towards me and pinned me against a tree. As he glared at me I saw fierce emotions running in his eyes; confusion and anger. He growled at me then demanded coldly, "Why are you here, Naruto?"

Tired of living this lie I told Sasuke the truth, "Training. I'm training with Jiraya to bring you back, or so I would have everyone believe." I paused to examine his expression; Sasuke was confused, "Confused? I guess it makes sense, I did make it sound out as if I was going to betray the leaf, but don't worry I'm not betraying them. I just meant that I'm not going to try to bring you back to Konoha. I know you won't, and even if you do you'll probably leave again anyways, so what's the point."

Sasuke loosened his grip on me and asked quietly, "What happened to you Naruto?"

My grin widened more so as I replied, "Nothing's happened Sasuke. This is who I am-who I've always been. You've just never noticed," I lowered my eyes as my grin faded as I quietly added to myself, "no one has ever noticed me."

"You're wrong." Sasuke said firmly and I raised my eyes to him as he continued, "You're not this way. This isn't who you are. You're suppose to be happy with that stupid grin of yours. Yeah, y-you're not always cheerful, you get sad all the time. Behind that cheerful mask of yours you hurt too, but no matter how hopeless the situation you never gave up. So why? Why give up on me now?"

I was surprised at how much Sasuke knew about me. I thought he never even noticed me as anything more than a sparring partner. With a forlorn smile I said, "Thank-you. Thank-you for seeing me Sasuke. It makes me happy that you know so much about me. But you missed something. Although I don't give up that easily, I also don't foolishly cling onto empty hope. I do know when to stop chasing after certain goals. Sasuke, I know bringing you back is hopeless, but you defeating Itachi isn't. Maybe not now but you will get stronger and if you don't believe you can do that in Konoha the I will let you fulfill your vengeance with Orochimaru first. After that, then I will take the necessary precautions to end everything." As I finished speaking Sasuke let go of his hold on me and I began to walk past him, planning to return to Ero-sennin.

"Naruto." Sasuke said suddenly as I walked past him. Stopping in my tracks I turned toward him expectantly, "Did you mean it then?"

"Nani?" I questioned, not understanding Sasuke.

Turning toward me Sasuke started again, "Did you mean it when you said that you love me?"

Fully turned around now I could see Sasuke fully, his back still towards me.

"Yes, I love you." I answered bluntly.

"How much?"

"I love you more than all the girls in Konoha think they love you combined. I love you so much it hurts when you're not around. I love you so much that I'd let you go do what you want to, even if it means hurting me. I love you so much that I changed all my priorities from getting acknowledgment from the villagers to just having you acknowledge me as at least a rival, though I want so much more."

Looking at me with wide eyes Sasuke asked, "How long have you felt like this?"

"I'm not sure, but it's been along time. Why does it matter? It shouldn't, after all it's not like you feel the same."

"That's just it! I do like you. I've like you for a long time too. I-I've always like you. You're constantly on my mind, that's one of the reason why I left Konoha. If I stay near you for to long I'm afraid that I'll forget about defeating Itachi. If I let myself stay to close to you Itachi might come after you too."

I was shocked to hear that from Sasuke, I mean I knew Sasuke hadn't left just because he wanted power, but I never thought I was part of why he left.

"How long have you felt like this?" I say, mirroring his earlier question.

"I only realized it after our accidental kiss, but I'm sure I liked you before then, because I've noticed you for forever. I can't remember not thinking about you for even a day."

Seeing the slight blush that crept onto his face I couldn't help but think of how adorable he looked. Without realizing it I slowly began inching my face towards his. My lips captured his in an innocent kiss, lips moving against each other. Lifting my lips from his I looked into his eyes. Seeing the consent in them I once again leaned towards him, only this time into a heated kiss. Unconsciously my hands moved to his waist and I vaguely noticed his hands in my hair. My lips moved against his and I tentatively licked his lips asking for entrance. Complying with my silent request Sasuke opened his mouth for me and my tongue sought out his. Pulling away from him Sasuke let out a whimper which turned into a moan as I suckled his neck. One of my hands slipped under his shirt and began to rub his nipples, the other rubbing him elsewhere.

"N-Naruto." He moaned making me want him more.

Vaguely I notice a distant voice but dismissed it.

"NARUTO! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU!"

Instantly I separated from Sasuke and cursed, "Kuso. It's Jiraya."

I was about to turn away from Sasuke and head to Ero-sennin to Jiraya but hesitated.

"Nee, Sasuke."

"Nani?"

"I just wanted you to know, you don't have to worry about Jiraya knowing you're here. Like I said I'm not going to force you to come back."

"Hn."

"One more thing."

"What now?"

"Don't think I'm gonna go easy on you just cause I found out you like me too."

Sasuke smirked, "I wouldn't expect any less from you, dobe."

I looked at Sasuke for a moment and said in a light-hearted, yet serious tone, "I'll kill you too if I have to."

"Same here." He replied in the same voice.

"I know..." I said quietly to myself as I headed back to Ero-sennin.

Plastering on my mask as I neared him I yelled out, "What do you want, Ero-sennin? I was having myself a good nap."

His eye twitching, "What do you mean 'Having a good nap.'? You're suppose to be training you moron, or are you not serious about being stronger?"

"Of course I'm serious! I just wanted a little nap."

"Yeah, whatever. Well now that you're up lets get back to training."

Another eighteen months past. Sasuke and I met almost once every week. We'd spar against each other, or delve into other strenuous activities. I'm sure Ero-sennin was suspicious at the appearance of me after every meeting with Sasuke. I was either tired out and bleeding everywhere or I was thoroughly ravished with hickeys. Yet Sasuke and I never had sex until our last meeting. I found out that Ero-sennin and I were to leave in one day, he let me have that day free from training. That day I ran to where Sasuke and I met every time. It wasn't for another two hours before Sasuke showed up.

"Jiraya and I are leaving soon." I said as soon as I saw him.

Sasuke faltered in his steps as I told him the news. Secretly I was glad that I made such an impact on him.

"When are you leaving?"

"Tomorrow."

A thick atmosphere of tension filled our secret place as silence filled the air. Sasuke quietly walked towards me and sat next to me. For a few minutes the silence continued then Sasuke, surprisingly enough, said something first.

"...I'll miss you."

I turned my head towards Sasuke in shock. I never expected to hear those words from Sasuke, maybe something like '...So I guess this is good-bye.' or even, 'Well it's been fun, but now I guess we really have to be complete enemies.'

Sasuke's eyes were so honest and clear. For once I could read every emotion in them easily. Then I noticed it, there were tears in his eyes. The tears hadn't fallen yet but they were there. I sat there staring into his onyx orbs only moving when a tear slipped from his eyes. My hand instantly wiped away the tear and I brought my lips to his. Sasuke responded immediately, with more desire and need than he'd ever shown before. Needless to say I spent the night with Sasuke all night long.

Waking the next morning I watched Sasuke sleeping next to me. Sasuke looked so peaceful.With the sun just barely rising and the morning dew still on the grass. I never wanted to leave this place. This is where I met Sasuke after I left with Jiraya, where we met every week, where we consummated our love, where we could be ourselves without any inhibitions.

Remembering that I was to go back to Konoha with Ero-sennin I gathered my clothes and dressed. After dressing myself I dressed Sasuke too. Hesitant to leave I spoke softly to Sasuke's sleeping form, "You know, I wish I really was the fool I made myself out to be. If I was then I'd at least have more time to spend with you. You'd probably come back to Konoha for a while too. I'm going to miss you Sasuke. I'll be waiting in the battlefield for you. Sayonara Sasuke. I should return this back to you too."

I put Sasuke's Konoha forehead protector in his hands and silently left him. The next time we would meet would be on the battlefield as enemies.  
Tbc...

Hope you like it, i'm sure it's easier to read now. Please review, i'll upload the next chapter sooner if i get reviews.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

It's been two weeks since I came back to Konoha. It was interesting getting reacquainted with everyone again. Sakura is becoming a great medical nin, Tsunade is training her well. She is more mature than before, but I know she still pines for Sasuke. Kakashi and Iruka-sensei are just the same. Kakashi still reading those pervy books and Iruka-sensei doting on me way too much. I'm glad they still have each other, even if they don't realize it themselves yet. I'm glad that everyone was essentially the same from before. It's been relatively peaceful the two weeks I've been back, but that can't last. Orochimaru and Akatsuki would be making their move soon. It would only be a matter of time.

Two months, two months since I came back with Jiraya. And after two months of being here the attack has finally begun. Orochimaru has finally sent his forces, led by Sasuke. Heh, maybe this is his final test or something. There were wounded all around me, but surprisingly I had yet to see any dead. And within all this chaos Sasuke had still not announced his arrival.

"Sasuke-kun!"

That was Sakura's voice. Frantically, I scanned through the dust and people for her. Then I spotted her. There she was; running to him. I couldn't let her reach him. I couldn't let the play continue any longer. I couldn't play savior to Sakura when Sasuke would get ready to attack her.

"SAKURA! STOP!"

I was at her side almost instantly.

"Naruto! What're you doing? Sasuke-kun is here! This is our chance to get him back!"

She tried to run around me but I grabbed her arm before she could get to far.

"Naruto! Let go of me!"

The facade had to end sometime.

"Sakura, you're a fairly decent ninja, so don't be an idiot. Sasuke isn't going to come back, he couldn't even if he wanted to at this point."

Sakura just stared at me wide-eyed, then she became angry and punched me.

"How can you say that! How can you be so selfish and say such cruel things? You even promised that you'd bring him back! You'll never understand how I feel! How it is to lose Sasuke after having him so close!"

That was the last straw. I cut Sakura off with a slap, and face Sasuke. I walked straight past Sakura the stopped for a second and growled out, "I am going to Sasuke, and not to bring him back. Do not try to stop me again. And never again say I don't know what it's like to lose Sasuke. You have no idea how much this hurts me."

As I walked towards Sasuke I vaguely noticed that Ino came and held Sakura back. I stopped in front of Sasuke and looked at him for a second.

"Sasuke, so it's finally come to this."

He gave a grim smirk, "Yeah, I guess it's finally time. Ah, wait a second." Sasuke called out to his men and informed them to return to Orochimaru. He would follow them as soon as he finished with me. After they left Sasuke pulled you his forehead protector that I left behind. I watched him slowly take off the sound protector and put on his old one.

"Only today I will wear this Naruto. Today we will end this once and for all."

Those words were the only warning I had before Sasuke began his assault. Everything continued as one big blur. Kicks and punches were thrown recklessly. We fought each other with reckless abandon. Our battle which had begun in the forest at the outskirts of Konoha had somehow traveled into the heart of the village. Vaguely, I tried to take note of not destroying too many building, but it couldn't be helped. Again I witnessed his transformation by the curse seal, and again I received Kyuubi's chakra and underwent my own transformation. Our battle would soon come to an end. Sasuke and I were bloody with our own and each other's blood. This would be the final blow. Sasuke with his chidori and me with my rasengan. We ran towards each other just as we did that time at the ravine. It wasn't until it was too late that I saw Sasuke's sad smile, that I noticed that at the last second he averted his the direction of his attack, and allowed the rasengan to hit him full force.

"Gomen, Naruto." he said as the rasengan came into contact with him.

After the attack Sasuke slumped towards me. I could only stand still in shock as my mind tried to make sense of what just happened; _Sasuke missed me on purpose and allowed for me to hit him. Why? Why?_

"WHY!" I cried out and held him close to me. "Why Sasuke?"

I could feel his arms shakily wrap around me.

"Because I love you Naruto," he gasped out softly, "and I realized I couldn't live without you."

I could feel tears trail down my face and my heart contort in pain.

"Sasuke you idiot." I choked out, "You idiot, you took too long."

I could hear him give a weak chuckle, "I know I am," then his chuckling turned into soft sobs as he whispered, "I-I'm sorry Naruto. I'm sorry it took me this long, so long that this life was no longer mine to give to you."

Sasuke pulled back slightly, rested his forehead against mine, and looked me in the eyes, "Ne, Naruto? Can I have one last kiss?"

I nodded and felt his lips brush mine for a few seconds before his lifeless body slumped against me once more. I held his body tightly as the tears racked my body.

"N-naruto." Sakura's quiet voice came from in front of me. I lifted Sasuke's body into my arms and headed towards the Konoha gates. As I walked past Sakura I gave a soft apology. Reaching the gates I could feel their presence: Tsunade and Jiraya.

"Naruto." came Tsunade's voice.

I turned around to face them and put on a forced smile.

"Gomen, Tsunade-san, Jiraya-san. But I can't pretend anymore. It hurts too much to live like this. I'm leaving Konoha for good. I leave you all with these last words, remember them and remember Sasuke and me. **_Live and be happy while you can_**."

I turned and left the only place that I could ever call home. I don't know where this path will lead me but I'm willing to take it. If only because I cannot live this lie anymore.

Owari

Wah! I almost started crying when writing this! I was writing Sasuke's death scene while watching Naruto and the "sad" music started playing! That was not cool!

Anyways I hope ya'll liked it. and I hope ya'll don't mind the horrid fight scene I wrote. I didn't really want a true fight scene but a semblance of one was needed to finish the fic.


	3. EpilogueClosure

Okay, now this really is the end of the fic. It's just a little epilogue and takes place approximately 3-4 years later.

Disclaimer: Naruto does not belong to me

**Closure**

A lone figure walked along the dusty path. Blond hair fading into red flaired out around him-making it seem as if he were surrounded by fire. Gradually he reached the open gates of Konoha and paused.

_I can't believe I came back here. Only for you my little-fox._

-----

A girl with chin-length-pink hair sat on the floor reading quietly. Across from her an older woman with light blond hair sat flipping through countless scrolls. The room was still and no sound could be heard except for the occasional shuffling of paper. A sigh could be heard from the younger girl as she rose from the floor. Silently she strode to the bookshelf and put the book up. Her emerald eyes scanned through the books and paused at one. Taking it out of its place she held it in one arm a proceeded to flip through it. Suddenly a slip of paper fell out of the book and she reached down to pick it up. Turning the paper over to look at its contents she gasped and the book fell through her loosened grip.

"Sakura?" came Tsunade's voice

"Live and be happy while you can..." Sakura shakily said "How was he able to say that before he left? And with a smile at that. Be happy? Just what was he thinking?"

Sighing Tsunade walked over to Sakura and took the paper out of her hands. It was a picture of the three with and inscription in Naruto's messy handwriting: _Live and be happy while you can_. Even years after he left Naruto was still around when you didn't wanted it least. She looked at Sakura and replied, "Naruto just wanted the best for us all Sakura. He didn't want anyone to go through any pain."

"I just don't get him! Why did he let it all happen that way? How could he hide it all?" Sakura sobbed, "Didn't he want to be happy too?"

"Of course he did." Tsunade said

Sakura only continued, "Then why all the facade! Why the secrets? Why did couldn't he be happy himself?"

"But he was." came a voice from the door. A man with slitted-red eyes and fire-red hair stood at the room's entrance, "Naruto was as happy for as long as he could be while trying to keep everyone else happy too. But it was this kindness that caused his own happiness to be cut short."

"Who are you? And how do you know Naruto?" questioned Tsunade warily

A smirk arose onto the stranger's face, "I am the one who has been with Naruto the longest. I have seen the hatred he had to endure, and the few joys he received in his lifetime. I watched him be discriminated against and how he still grew to love this village that despised him for something he had no control over. I was there when he fell in love for the first time, and saw the anguish he went through because the one he loved was Sasuke, a boy like himself. I was with him when he let Sasuke leave this place and when he killed Sasuke. I was the only one who saw him bury the love of his life in that clearing that was their own, and I was the only one with him as he died."

A shocked gasp came from both women. Tsunade hesitated for a moment, "C-could it be that you are the Nine-Tails?"

"The one and only."

Tsunade stiffened, "Why are you here?"

The smirk faded from Kyuubi's face and a shadow fell across his eyes, "To fulfill Naruto's last wish."

"W-wait! N-naruto...he can't be dead. You're lying." Sakura desperately asked Kyuubi.

"I wish I were. But my being here is the proof that Naruto is gone."

Sakura slumped to the floor, "How...?"

"Do you really wish to know?" Asked Kyuubi to them both.

Tsunade stepped in, "Yes we would."

"He died fulfilling the only goal of Sasuke's he could: killing Itachi. I told him not to go at his current strength. Naruto wasn't close to Itachi's level, but he insisted. And of course he had to enlist my chakra to help him defeat Itachi, but my chakra isn't meant to be wielded by humans; and that is what really killed him. His body couldn't handle the stress that he forced onto it; not even with my healing abilities. Naruto was in constant pain as my chakra tore through his body, but he no longer cared. So long as he could kill Itachi, Naruto would endure any pain-even death. That boy was too kind for his own good, and I will never understand where he had the strength to free me from his body but he managed it. And I don't know how. One minute I was dying with him, and the next I was watching him die in front of me. Even in death he still thinks about others. Naruto did not want me to die because of him, and he wanted me to come back here."

"Why?"

Kyuubi held his hand out to Tsunade, "Naruto wanted closure." Tsunade's necklace was in Kyuubi's palm.

"He wanted you to understand that it wasn't your fault that he died. Naruto wanted you to know that your being here let him die more peacefully knowing that someone he could trust was taking care of the village he loved so much. Do not blame yourself again for the death of another person. This was his choice and his choice alone to make."

As Tsunade took the necklace from Kyuubi the tears began to flow from her eyes, and the dam broke. Not once did she shed any tears when Naruto left, and now all the tears she'd been holding back where flowing freely.

Kyuubi turned to Sakura and handed her an envelope, "Naruto wanted to apologize himself so he gave this to me to give to you."

Through her tears she carefully opened the envelope and unfolded the letter inside:

_Dear Sakura-chan,_

_I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry for all the pain I put you through. I'm sorry for being such a pain in the butt when you didn't want me around, but I just wanted to not be alone you know. I wanted all of us to spend a little more time together, before everything came to an end. I'm sorry I couldn't bring Sasuke back like I promised I would-I never wanted to lie to you, but I couldn't just tell you the truth. Can you ever forgive me for that? I'm sorry I sprung the truth to you without really explaining it to you. And I'm sorry I left. I sorry for being so selfish that I left you all in Konoha. I just want you to know that no matter how I may have acted, I really did cherish our friendship._

"N-naruto no. Y-you have nothing to be sorry for! You've done so much for this village and we never gave you back anything in return." Sakura sobbed as she clutched the letter.

Kyuubi turned back towards the door, "As I lived inside Naruto I watched him grow to love this village that hated him to no end. I gave him comfort as an infant and he became my Little-fox. Naruto is the only human I have ever accepted and this village has caused the death of him. I can honestly say that I still hate humans, and I'd be happy to finish what I was doing before I was sealed in Naruto, but I won't. My little one did not wish it so. Naruto wanted to keep this village safe from harm and I will respect that by becoming it's guardian. Until the day Naruto can receive his own happiness I will remain in this village."

Kyuubi left the two women and headed for the only place he'd known in the village-Naruto's shaggy home. He'd reverted into a fox form and curled on Naruto's bed and allowed himself to sleep.

The knell of mourning bells could be heard the next day as Konoha learned of the death of it's greatest hero.

Owari

I hope ya'll enjoyed my fic. Comment's appreciated


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